Feeling really rubbish these past few days.....not managing to get out much and feeling abit low.
Yesterday i had a visit to the dentist, simple enough,but let me tell you...this appointment has been put off for months. Y? Because i knew how hard it would be to climb the stairs there :(
I made my appointment as late as possible, so i knew town would be empty , less people to see me struggling haha. Managed to park quite close, but still jumped in my wheelchair, so i would be in a better state when i reached the dentist ( see all planned out, always thinking ;) ) Dad waited with my chair outside while me and mum climbed mount everest, thats what it felt like anyway. The stairs are so steep , i would even struggle with them years ago when i was fitter. What i should of done is wear my oxygen....but oh no,not nicnac....wish i was less stubborn!!!! I reached the top and sat down on the top step till i could catch my breath.Your heart feels like its going to rip out your chest , you cant speak, your vision goes blurry and your breathing becomes super fast and short. Even your lips go blue...thank god i suit lipstick thats all i can say haha!
When i finally calmed down, i went to reception to be greeted by the 3witches of eastwick!!!! No joke. If i wanted to be interregated i would of joined the army. "Do you pay for your treatment?" Me: "No" ,witch: "why?" Me: "Im on income support" witch: "well do you have proof?" For god sake!!!! If i could of thrown my proof in her chops i would of. :) :) Wonder if she would of treated me differently if i was wearing my oxygen? It was like she didnt believe me. Many people say i look "too well" to be ill....then i think of the peter kay joke....what do they want, a grim reaper following me round tesco????
Anyway, Dentist went ok BUT i have to go back end of June for a filling....cant wait...NOT!!!
Today wasnt much better, didnt sleep very well last night, not sure why??? So i woke up tired,headache,breathess and pretty fed up to b honest! Took my mum tesco for an eye test , but waited in the car with ollie the oxygen and a pillow off my bed ha....might as well get comfy while i wait hahaha. God i bet i looked a right wierdo in my car, even had my pjs on :). As soon as i got home ,got straight back in bed and thats were ive remained all evening. I feel like things are slipping abit, so ive started my oral antibiotics i got on friday from clinic. My night was brightened a little watchin Ronaldo score ....and basically just having a right good perve at him hahaha.
So im going too see how i get on next few days and take it from there........
Lots of love xxx
Hey baby I think we should look at a different dentist cos if I find out which dentist u go too I will physically rip them over the counter and stamp on their heads!!! The stairs, the witches!!! U need a new dentist! Lol I hope tomorrow u feel better thinkin of u everyday love and miss u and yes u do suit lipstick!!!
ReplyDeleteHi there, I came across your blog whilst doing some CF research. I hope you don't mind if I share your story with some medical doctors that I am currently teaching. I am trying to illustrate some of the real life issues of CF, and I think this really shows in your blog. I am so impressed by your tenacity and hope that you get your transplant soon. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHello anonymous, why not identify yourself? I am Nicola’s aunty, she was with me last night and we talked about your request, the consensus was “well it is the public domain so nothing really stopping you!” Nicola is as you pointed out tenacious; she is also amazingly brave, mature beyond her years and has a wonderful earthy sense of humour. More than that she keeps a positive attitude that keeps her going, that’s why she wouldn’t tell you of some of her worse experiences - like being kept on a filthy ward with elderly people being exposed to germs her immune system can’t cope with, doctors and nurses who do not seem to understand or care about the basics of cross contamination, and being treated like an a case number rather than the wonderful person she is – pass that on please and perhaps the next generation of doctors will actually have the humanity bypass needed.
ReplyDeleteThere are wonderful doctors and nurses out there but I can name them they are so few and far between.
Danielle, I know, the number of times I have wanted to sink my teeth into the necks of idiots like the “witches” but there are too many of them for one person we should form a “neck biting posse” are you up for it? Seriously it is good to know Nic has people around her that care.
Aunty Suex
Hi again Nicola :) Had to wince at your recount of the dentist visit. I used to be very heavy and stairs were my mortal enemy, especially the steep ones. It is beyond me how you do it with impaired lung function. The dentist can't afford a first floor office? Geez ...
ReplyDeleteThe witches. Hmm. Maybe you could get a buddy to print some t-shirts with "I FLUNKED ANGER MANAGEMENT!!" to wear next time you go.
Btw, I would not want to be on the bad side of Danielle or Aunty Suex :)))
Stay tough!
"The best reforms are worked out when sentiment operates, as it does in women, with the indignation of righteousness".
ReplyDeleteMark -Some bloke wrote that perhaps trying to get his head around the fact that women do have strength but they usually save it for life's real battles, like protection of those they care for - you are a dad you should understand that.
I am completely mystified by this comment.
ReplyDeletereading this post just makes me giggle, the 3 witches of eastwick!! lol and looking too well to be "ill" will miss your blogs nic, never did get a chance to get your pages up and going! no more struggling anymore chick! rip angel always think of you xx
ReplyDeleteRIP sweetie,you are finally free from the struggles and breathing freely in heaven.
ReplyDeleteSo sad. You fought so long and hard...wish you would have had a chance at a successful transplant and been able to get through your wish list. Sleep well Nicola.
ReplyDeleteMaybe if she would've went on the Transplant list sooner? Who know, never judge because you haven't lived in her shoes. God speed, say hi to my Mom and Brother.
ReplyDeleteI admire your strength and humor. I also have CF and because I look healthy and try to keep a smile on my face people just don't understand how much we struggle with the most simple things like getting up to go to a doctors appt. People dont understand. Doing my treatments thinking of u and a dear friend Ty who made it on the list ready for the transplant but got sick and simply couldnt get healthy enough to follow thru with it and passed at 18... Im goin on 28 now, I can't believe I've made it this far!...
ReplyDelete